I am a pretty positive person. I tried to look on the bright side of most things, but to be completely honest, there is one thing that I just really do not enjoy at all — “that time of the month.” (Men, if you don’t want to know any more about this topic, feel free to stop reading now) So of course it’s not the best days in the world and I hate it, complain and whine most of the time… (and if you are trying to get pregnant, its even worse) So one day, while I was having a particularly bad day at work because of “woman pain” my friend sent me this letter in an e-mail and it just made me giggle.
Even if you no longer need this product, the letter is a hoot!
This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company
Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It’s PC Magazine’s 2007 editors’
choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your ‘Always’ maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call ‘an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.’ Isn’t the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer’s monthly visits from ‘Aunt Flo’. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women.
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants… Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these
words: ‘Have a Happy Period.’Are you [stinkin'] kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness – actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?
(I did edit it just a little bit…) Anyway. After I read this I had to just laugh. Is it really that bad? Always is trying really hard with their current tag line, and I think it’s probably important to remember, it’s really not that bad. Have a happy period!
OK I’m dying laughing right now because I about wrote the same letter to Always last week when I heard the commercial and about ripped my TV out of the wall and threw it out the window. Thank you for sharing my sentiments EXACTLY! :)
NO no!!! I can’t think of anything happy about a period. Period. Um…still thinking. Okay, maybe if you DIDN’T want to get pregnant, it would be a good sign, but there is still nothing to be overly joyous about. Cramps, mood swings, blood everywhere. And we can’t wait for it to happen EVERY month (and I shouldn’t even be whining right now since I don’t have one at the moment) but I feel like it all catches up after I have the baby and I bleed for six weeks. I guess if you do the math, that means I got out of three periods (approximately). That is a funny letter. I can’t believe that Always actually tried using that as a slogan???