But I’m okay with it.
First a little background: This past month my family has had a couple of health problems. My little sister had her tonsils out, found out she had some thyroid problems and then had to have her gall bladder taken out. During this time, my other little sister had some xrays taken and found out that the curve in her neck is wrong (and that’s why she has horrible headaches), then my older brother broke his hand. So one day my mom and I were talking and she was just joking around and said, “I just don’t understand why all my kids are broken.”
It turns out that I’ve joined the ranks with my family as “broken.”
For a little while now, Bryan and I have been trying to get pregnant and we have been seeing a doctor to find out if there was anything wrong. And finally on Friday we found something out.
** Warning: if you don’t want to know anything about my ovaries, stop reading now **
I went to our appointment on Friday not sure what I wanted to hear. I was sure I didn’t want the doctor to tell us that there wasn’t any problem, because that is so much more frustrating to have a problem and not have the doctors know what the problem is. At the same time though, I didn’t want the doctor to tell us that there were major complications.
So sitting in the waiting room made me so nervous. I didn’t know what I wanted to hear, I didn’t know what she was going to say.
I hate that feeling.
Finally they called us back and directed us to the exam room where we had to wait again. Luckily I had my iPhone to play games on or I would have been a nervous mess. The doctor finally came in and she pulled out the chart.
“Let’s start here” she said, as she turned to one of the pages. She pointed out a couple of numbers, explained what they were and told us they suggest that you have polycystic ovary syndrome. Then she moved on!
I had no idea what to think. I had never heard of that before and I didn’t know what it meant to us or to us having kids. I tried to hold back the tears, but it just wasn’t happening. The doctor continued going over the rest of our tests and gave us some options and I was finally able to calm down.
So in the end: I have polycystic ovary syndrome. From what I understand it basically means that my ovaries have a bunch of cysts that stop my eggs from maturing, and that can be caused by an excess amount of insulin in my body. The extra insulin also messes with my hormones and my body is creating its very own natural birth control. Oh man, all those wasted prescriptions of birth control…
So in the end, it is treatable and my wonderful doctor said she was sure that we could get pregnant soon!!! I am now taking a diabetes medication to even out the amount of insulin in my body (to stop the natural birth control), some fertility medicine (to boost the number of eggs I produce), then when the time is right, I’ll go back to the doctor and they will do something to my ovaries to force them to mature the eggs.
It has been a while getting to this point and it has been a serious roller coster. I have been up and down. Some days have been good and some days have been really bad, but I’m so glad to finally know something.
I also know that the Lord has given me this experience at this time in my life for a very specific reason. This ward has been such a blessing for me through all of this too. I have had so many different women express their love to me and share their experiences with fertility problems. Thank you so much to each of you. I know the Lord is watching over me.
So a little bit broken, but its okay. There seems to be an end in sight and maybe even a baby.
PHELPS. . . i have to just say a few things one I FREAKING LOVE YOU! I felt like I was reading my sisters blog or something. You almost had me in tears – but I held it together, thank you very much. :) I am SO sorry that all of your Dr’s appointments have been so hard on you. You are by far one of the most brave (although i don’t think that is the right word) people I know when it comes to the trials that you face. I sure do miss you!
Katie! I understand what your feeling completely! I have the same thing! Steve and I have been dealing with this for almost 2 years now. What doctor are you seeing (maybe we have the same doc! haha)? Anyway, if you ever need to talk or what not i’m always here (down stairs literally haha) The rollar costers arn’t always the funnest!
Josh and I are in the same boat, only we haven’t made it around to going to the Dr. yet for the same reasons you were nervous to be there. ugh. It’s SO hard!!! But, I’m so happy for you, and so glad you have faith!
I love you Katie! I’m so glad that the doctor has ideas! You are so strong and I know that you will be the best mom ever. LOVE YA!
P.S. Sorry about all the rest of your families health problems! I hope everybody feels better sooo soon!
I’m glad to hear that you figured out what was wrong. I totally know the feeling of having something wrong but don’t know what it is. Tyler sure loves home teaching you guys. We’ll keep you in our prayers.
Sorry I didn’t get to finish this conversation with you at the party. I think we got the the part about them zapping your ovaries and then we were interrupted. I am glad to hear that is all sounds promising, and I am very glad that they could give you an answer of some kind. I’m totally rooting for you because I think you and Bryan would have some cute kids.
By the way, I really like your new layout; very cool.
Hey Katie,
I’m glad your doctor was able to give you some answers. Aren’t you glad that we live in a time where doctors are so knowledgeable? I really hope this treatment works fast. I agree with your friends. I think you and Bryan are going to have adorable kids and I think both of you will be great parents.
Hey Katie! It’s Miranda from color guard. I’m sorry to hear about your problems with fertility, but don’t worry! I have the exact same problem, and it’s completely treatable. I can understand it’s really frustrating, especially when it seems like EVERYONE else is getting pregnant so easily. Email me if you want some commiseration.
I’m sorry to hear about all the stress! But I’m glad you got an answer and can move forward with treatment. Good luck with everything.
Katie! I am so sorry! I have had a few sister-in-laws who have fertility problems too. Just know that you are not alone out there and I hope that everything will work out for you! I love you and miss you!
Hey Katie! I saw your link on Kylee’s blog and the 1st post I read almost makes me cry! You are not broken :) and you are an amazing girl and I know you will get through this and be an amazing mother someday soon :)
I’m glad you’re broken in a fixable way. It’s nice to finally put a name to a problem – the worst part is not knowing.
You should tell your hometeachers the same story, I’ll bet they’d love to hear how you’re doing. They might not be able to relate directly, even though they’re incapable of getting pregnant themselves, but they love you and hope for the best for your family.
I’m so glad that there is hope in sight, and sorry that you have had to deal with all of it in the first place. I will be anxious to hear the end of this story!
Katie…I just wanted to add my two cents on this subject. I feel for you. Infertility stinks. Been there…done that. For a lot of years we wanted to have kids and they just didn’t come. It was really hard for me to talk about it or be around anyone with kids. Never did figure out the reason. But I wouldn’t change things. I love being Reagan’s mom…it’s the best. It’s pretty great that your doctor knows why you haven’t gotten pregnant. We have a good friend from dental school that had the same problem and has had two kids. Be patient and remember things work out the way they are suppose to.
I’m hugging you right now…can you tell? Keep your chin up and call me anytime. Love you!
KATIE MCKRACKEN (now something else-and I don’t even think I spelled your name right)
I found your blog on a link on Steff’s blog and I have to tell you that I could copy your post about PCOS and sign my name on it. Me too! I was diagnosed last week with PCOS. I know how you feel and how stinking frustrating it is. Anyway, I’m starting clomid in about a week. Hope it works! Good luck, girl! Let me know how it goes!